Showing posts with label BDSMonday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BDSMonday. Show all posts

Monday, 13 April 2015

BDSMonday - Lock and Key Cover Reveal



It's BDSMonday! 

Today, as promised last week, is a very special BDSMonday. I'm very pleased to present the cover for my upcoming M/M BDSM romance, Lock and Key. It's the sequel to Boots and Leather (and it includes Boots and Leather, for those who haven't read it). I haven't had a kinky story out since Night Out, and it feels great to have a new one on the way. Since I wrote Boots and Leather, I knew I wanted to explore more of Gavin and Terry's relationship, and I'm thrilled to share more of their story with you. 

Blurb: After meeting Terry at a motorcycle show, Gavin is sure he’s found the man of his dreams. While he’s fantasized about BDSM for years, Gavin has never had a play partner and Terry is happy to teach him. After playing together for a few months, Terry has to leave on a business trip. Terry gives Gavin the key to his apartment so Gavin can sleep in, but Gavin isn’t sure he’s ready for that level of commitment. While he likes and trusts Terry—and loves the kinky sex they have together—Gavin has to decide which he can’t give up: Terry, or his freedom. Part one was originally published as Boots and Leather by Torquere Press.

Excerpt: Weighed down by groceries and a bulging duffle bag, I rang Terry’s doorbell.

“It’s open!” he called.

I left the bag in the entryway so he wouldn’t see it and brought the groceries to the kitchen. He was wearing jeans, an apron and nothing else, and he was sexy as hell. I wanted him to ravish me, right there, right then, but he was busily stirring and chopping and other mysterious kitchen pursuits—I’m not much of a cook.

“Don’t come into the bedroom.” I kissed his shoulder.

“Sure.” He gave my butt a quick pat before turning back to his frying pan.

Making sure he wasn’t watching, I carried the heavy bag down the hall to Terry’s bedroom and started unpacking my goodies.

I’ve known I was interested in BDSM for a long time, though I’d never had a play partner of my very own before Terry. Every now and then I’d see something in an adult store or on a website that I just had to buy, for private use or the hope that I would eventually find a top to play with. “Every now and then” adds up over the years, and soon the bag wouldn’t be big enough to hold everything.
I laid it all out on the bed so I could see everything and try to narrow down exactly what I wanted to do with Terry—or rather, have him do to me. As I pulled out each toy, I remembered the fantasy that had made me buy it.

Terry and I haven’t discussed roleplaying yet, and I was still too shy to mention it, and worried he’d think I was immature for wanting to play “let’s pretend”.

Simple was probably best. A scene that took too long to set up could use up all our energy before we’d actually played. I tossed almost everything back in the bag, except for my matching set of black leather wrist and ankle cuffs, and what had quickly become my favorite toy. It was a jockey bat; similar to a riding crop, but the leather tip was hard instead of flappy. Terry has used it in all sorts of ways—using it the way it was intended, flipping it around to hit me with the handle, striking my thighs or ass with the shaft like a cane, even holding it across the backs of my knees to pin me down.
“I’m ready,” I called.

“Me too. We’d better eat first, or we might not get around to it.”

I was restless. I wanted to play now, but I knew he was right. If we played, we probably wouldn’t leave the bed until morning, and the dinner he’d cooked would go to waste. With a final glance at the toys neatly arranged on the bed, I sauntered out to meet him.

“Are you sure you didn’t own a restaurant in a past life?” I asked, bumping him with my hip while I grabbed a plate. I thought about serving him, but we hadn’t discussed that level of D/s yet, so I only got food for myself.

“I’d go crazy in a restaurant, surrounded by people, everyone in a hurry. I couldn’t even do your job.” He was used to being his own boss; if he felt like working fourteen hours one day, he did. If he wanted to ride to the coast for the weekend, there was no one to stop him but his own deadlines.

***

I don't have a buy link yet, but be on the lookout for Lock and Key from Torquere Press on April 29th!

Monday, 6 April 2015

BDSMonday - Pedicures


It's BDSMonday!

One of the ways I like to serve my Sir is by giving pedicures--sometimes with nail polish, sometimes without.

For those of you who've never given a pedicure, here's how I do it:

- remove any old nail polish thoroughly
- soak feet in warm water for 10-15 minutes. Add Epsom salts or any other commercial foot soak (we like lavender Epsom salts)
- use exfoliating cream/callous grater
- rinse feet
- clip toenails straight across to help prevent ingrown toenails
- file toenails to smooth any rough edges
- push back cuticles. Use cuticle moisturizer if they don't push back easily after soaking
- use a loofah or pumice stone (we prefer a pumice stone) on roughened areas. Make sure skin is very moist before using the stone. You can put lotion directly on the stone before using
- slather on more lotion and place feet in plastic bags. Wrap warm towels around them or put on thick socks (we usually use socks) and let the lotion soak in for at least 15 minutes
- remove plastic bags and massage leftover lotion into feet

And voila! Happy, relaxed feet and happy, relaxed sub. It's a great way for both of us to unwind, and a way for me to offer practical service.


Stay tuned next week for an exclusive BDSMonday cover reveal for my upcoming M/M BDSM romance--Lock and Key! Some of you may remember Boots and Leather. Lock and Key is the sequel, and it will also re-release Boots and Leather for those of you who missed it the first time around.

Monday, 30 March 2015

BDSMonday - Outdoor Play




It's BDSMonday!

Today is a gorgeous day in my neck of the woods (and I hope in yours, too!) It's actually spring-like and not even too wet/muddy. That never happens.

Anyway, it got me thinking about great scenes of the past (now I'm picturing a flogger or something made of clouds à la The Lion King), specifically outdoor scenes. If you live in the city, like I do, it can be a little difficult to find places to play outside, because non-consensually freaking out Vanilla people isn't cool. But playing outside is a special experience, at least to my Sir and me.

In my current house, our fence is quite low on one side and made of wire on the other, so not much backyard privacy. We do have a garage, but it's not the most soundproof building.

When we lived with my stepmom, we did some outdoor play in my old treehouse while she was gone for the summer, and that was really fun.

During our honeymoon, we rented a small retreat and had the place to ourselves. We did an awesome takedown scene that involved me hiding in the woods for my Sir to find, and getting tackled on the beach. We tried a couple of other things, but there were a lot of ants. And we're not really into ant-play. But it's okay if you are!



My Vanilla Corner friends! Have you read any awesome outdoor play scenes that you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about 'em!

Monday, 23 March 2015

BDSMonday - Origins


It's BDSMonday!

I feel like it's been a while since I shared any original content or anything personal, so today I have a weird little anecdote for you.

My mom and I had a Christmas tradition of watching The Muppets' Christmas Carol. When I was five, I remember noticing that Gonzo had certain, ah, proclivities. I asked my mom why he kept being disappointed the Rizzo was being hurt instead of him, and she said that Gonzo liked being hurt. And I was like, oh, good, there are other people (well, sort of) like me!

It wasn't until I was thirteen or so that I learned the word masochist (from my step-mom. I don't remember the context, but considering she's a German professor I'm pretty sure she was telling me about von Sacher-Masoch...)


Monday, 16 March 2015

BDSMonday - Photoset


It's BDSMonday! (Again, sorry about last week...work was ri-DIC-ulous!)

Today I have a photoset for you, showing examples of real-life kinksters doing their kinky thing. There's a lot more than leather and latex here!

(Link is NSFW)

Monday, 2 March 2015

BDSMonday - BDSM 101 by Laci Green


It's BDSMonday!

Sorry about last week everyone...I was sick and I had to work :( But I'm feeling much better now!

Anyway, today I have a video about BDSM 101 by Laci Green. Enjoy!

(NSFW and there is some FSOG-bashing)

Monday, 16 February 2015

BDSMonday - Aftercare Comic


It's BDSMonday!

Today I have a comic about aftercare from Jessi's Art Blog. It's very adorable--and also NSFW.

Have a great week everyone!

Monday, 9 February 2015

BDSMonday - Guest Post by M. Strange - Service



It's BDSMonday!

Today I have another guest post from my Sir, M. Strange. Today she's talking about Tops caring for bottoms.

---

T. and I are big fans of service submission, but also service D/s in general. While I love when she brings me food and drink, waits on me, pets my hair, etc, it’s nice to do the reverse as well.

When I take care of her that way, it’s more the way a master would care for their pet. Pets need to be bathed, brushed, clipped, fed and loved. And so do subs. So just because you’re a dominant, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be pampering your sub the same way they take care of you.

And after they’re all clean and happy, you can give them a good spanking! :)

Monday, 26 January 2015

BDSMonday - (Kinky) New Year's Resolutions


It's BDSMonday!

Seeing as this is the last Monday of the first month of 2015, I thought it might be fun to see if you have any kinky plans for the coming year--a new area of BDSM you'd like to explore, a fantasy you'd like to bring up with your partner, books you'd like to read, scenes you'd like to write?

For myself, I'd like to play more in 2015. I don't really have anything specific in mind--I've (mostly) figured out what I like, and I want more of it! But I wouldn't say no to finding new activities to try, either.

Monday, 19 January 2015

BDSMonday - Flagging


It's BDSMonday!

Sorry about being AWOL last week, I wasn't feeling the best (but I'm fine now). I thought I'd do something fun today--flagging!

In a leather/BDSM context, flagging refers to wearing or carrying something to indicate what sort of play you're into or looking for. Having an object on your left means you are into giving/doing that sort of play (wearing a flogger on your left--you're into flogging), and having it on your right means you're into receiving that sort of play (wearing a flogger on your right--you're into being flogged).

You can flag with almost anything, from something subtle like keys--left means you're a Top/Dominant/etc, right means you're a bottom/sub/etc--that can be worn anywhere, to very specific items that you would probably only want to wear to a BDSM event, such as handcuffs, cane or rope.

Then there's the hankie code. This site is a very, very comprehensive list of all the different hanky colours and patterns used to flag and what they all mean. I (Side note: My Sir and I really want houndstooth hankies :D)

Monday, 5 January 2015

BDSMonday - Nontraditional Bondage


It's BDSMonday! 

Tying someone up can be easy (or really, really complicated). There are handcuffs (which I'm not a huge fan of, honestly. They're cold, uncomfortable, and leave awkward marks), leather cuffs, rope. You can get a little more creative and use belts, ribbon, ties, all sorts of things that are lying around!

But it doesn't end there!

I was thinking about alternate types of bondage last night, and my brain went straight to this: 



Side note: The Mummy is one of my favourite movies (I can watch it, Jurassic Park 1 or 3 [but not 2], or Jaws pretty much any time). 

Obviously I'm not advocating keeping people as property against their will, but I like the idea of 'bondage' that will show if you've moved without permission...and then of course you have to be punished :D

There's also mental bondage. The bottom (etc) isn't physically restrained, but they're put in a certain position and told to stay just like that...or else ;)

I've done some mental bondage, and I'd like to do more, but my wife and I haven't come up with many scenes for it. 

I'd love to hear any ideas you have along these lines, whether it's a fantasy or something you've done/heard of someone doing. 




BDSM readers--have you read any bondage scenes that involved mental bondage, or something used besides a physical restraint? 


Monday, 29 December 2014

BDSMonday - First Scenes


It's BDSMonday!

Today's question is, what was the first BDSM scene you ever participated in (or witnessed)?

I'm pretty sure, with both my current Sir and my previous ex/dominant, that we started with D/s...but I honestly don't remember for certain. Which is funny, because we don't actually play a lot with D/s!



And of course this question lends itself nicely to the Vanilla Corner! What was the first BDSM scene you ever read about, and what did you think of it?

I don't remember my first, but I always loved reading about people getting tied up and stuff when I was a kid :D

Monday, 22 December 2014

BDSMonday - Scenes VS Impromptu


It's BDSMonday!

Today I'm asking about different kinds of play, and which you prefer to participate in or read about.

By a scene, I mean advanced planning, with specific ideas in mind: "You're going to be the pirate captain who ties me up, spanks me, and has his wicked way with me!" A scene can be set out by the top, bottom, or both!

By impromptu, I mean grabbing a sub for a surprise spanking, greeting your Dom(me) at the door on your knees with a cup of tea, anything spontaneous.



BDSM readers--do you prefer reading about elaborate scenes, or spur-of-the-moment, wild play? (Or a bit of both!)

Monday, 15 December 2014

BDSMonday - Play Parties


It's BDSMonday!

Today I'm talking about play parties.

In case you don't know, a play party is a gathering of kinky people where the attendees play or watch others play, as opposed to a munch which is typically in a vanilla setting and play of any kind is a big no-no.

I'll admit to limited experience. I live in a small city, and the kinky community here is small. All of the play parties I've attended bar one were organized at least in part by me. The one I didn't help organize was very, very small, and held in someone's home. Some of what I say might not apply in all cases, so I'd love to hear from people with more experience!

First, how do you get invited to a play party? Some are completely open--anyone with the cash can buy a ticket. This is especially true of very large parties that have been running for a number of years. Smaller ones tend to be more selective, both because of size restrictions and concerns about the safety of those attending. Most of the parties I hosted were semi-private. A group of vetted people would be sent direct invites, and any remaining tickets would be sold at munches. Interested people had to attend at least one munch so we could meet them in person. We also had a list of people who were not welcome, because of past incidents or major personality conflicts with people who were attending. We also tried to mostly invite people who we knew would play, because that way it's more fun for everyone.

It's usually okay to attend a play party and not play, but it's best to ask ahead of time. Play parties aren't public, but they aren't in the bedroom, either. Anyone playing at them has to realize that they may be watched while they play. We always left little areas where people could stand and watch play. If someone tells you they don't want to be watched, or any other request, please respect that.

Stay out of the way of play! The people involved in a scene don't want to be tripping over you or have to worry about accidentally hitting you with a riding crop. Stay out of the scene unless you're invited. Don't talk to the participants unless you've been invited to, or unless that scene is specifically stated to be a demonstration.

Another important part of play parties is DMs or dungeon monitors. The DM is there to make sure everyone is safe and happy. At our parties, people who had already played weren't allowed to DM, because that meant they were in an altered state and probably not as focused as someone who hadn't played. Not all play parties have them.

I don't remember an instance where our DMs had to intervene with a scene, but they helped clean up stations, brought water, snacks, pillows and blankets to people who'd played, and just kept an eye on everything.

If you have a question about a scene, or if it's making you uncomfortable, approach the DM. Don't try to stop the scene yourself. If you need to, leave the room. Not everyone is going to play the same way as you, but that doesn't mean they're doing it 'wrong'.

Due to hygiene/safety, you'll probably have to bring your own toys to a play party, but there will probably be different stations set up to play at. We had a spanking bench, St. Andrew's cross and massage table. If you can, it's nice to clean up the station when you're finished playing--some form of disinfectant should be provided. Sometimes you or your play partner are too out of it to clean up. That's okay, just let someone know.

And a quick note, as someone who hosted parties: getting there early to help to set up, and staying late to help take down everything is a super awesome thing to do if you're able! Putting on play parties is a lot of work, and chances are your help will be appreciated.

Thank your hosts for putting on the party. Don't constantly pester them about when the next party is going to be, because eventually the answer is going to be, "Whenever you put one on." Play parties should be fun for everyone, and that includes the hosts!

Play safely, and see you next week!




Monday, 8 December 2014

BDSMonday - American Dad!: The Missing Kink


It's BDSMonday! 

Once again, I'm really sorry I missed last week...I've been having computer troubles, but it's doing all right at the moment *knocks on wood*

Anyway, this week I figured we'd take it easy, relax, and listen to some music. Specifically, You've Got A Kink from the American Dad! episode The Missing Kink. Sorry it's not the best quality recording, YouTube didn't have much of a selection. (If you enjoy the song, you should watch the whole episode!)

I don't think I need to point this out, but this video is VERY NSFW!

Monday, 24 November 2014

BDSMonday - Stereotypes




It’s BDSMonday!

Today’s topic is kinky stereotypes. 

Please note! The items listed below are stereotypes. They are not representative of my thoughts!

Here are a few I know, but I’d love to hear more from you guys:
- men are dominant and women are submissive
- all female dominants are dominatrices/pro dommes. They all look like this: 


- submissives (regardless of gender) are helpless doormats
- female submissives (or all submissives) are just looking for sex/are slutty
- BDSM is always about sex
- switches are just confused
- masochists were sickly as children
- sadists are all serial killers/psychopaths 




Vanilla Corner
Before you started reading BDSM fiction, had you heard of any of these stereotypes?
Did you believe any of them?
Were you surprised to find out they weren’t true after you’d started reading the genre?
Did you find out about these (or other) stereotypes through reading?


Monday, 10 November 2014

BDSMonday - Guest Post by M. Strange - Coming Out As Kinky


It's BDSMonday! (Last week? Obviously last week never happened, or there would have been a BDSMonday post. *heh*)

Today I have guest post number two from my Sir, and she's talking about how and when to come out as kinky. I've touched on this subject before, but I think it's an important one and it's good to get as many perspectives about it as possible.

So, without further ado:


Monday, 27 October 2014

BDSMonday - Predators



It's BDSMonday!

Since last week's post was so silly, I've got to balance it out with a more serious post (or something like that).

First, I want to say that, as a group, kinky people are just like other people--because we are other people! There are good people and bad people, people who are looking to screw you over, and people who are trying to hurt you in not good ways.

I believe that people sometimes get labeled 'predator' simply because they pissed someone off. That doesn't mean that predators don't exist in BDSM, and it doesn't mean that you should ignore someone being called a predator.

There are different kinds of BDSM predators. An unfortunately common one is someone who approaches every new person and sets themselves up as being the Wise Old Leather Master who will train them and teach them and turn them into a Twoo Submissive. Most of them are pretty harmless, if annoying, and they're pretty easy to spot. Remember--there is no 'right' way to BDSM...though there are wrong ways! If someone tries to convince you their way is the only way, especially if it goes against what your instincts or common sense are telling you, trust yourself. Just because they have 'years of experience as a ______' doesn't mean their opinion is any more valid or true than yours.

There is another kind of predator who can be extremely dangerous and potentially life threatening: people who are attracted to BDSM because they genuinely want to hurt/maim/kill other people. To me, sadism and masochism often go hand in hand--the sadist wants to hurt, the masochist wants to be hurt, everybody's consenting and goes home happy. There are people out there for whom that is not the case. They aren't looking to please anyone but themselves. I don't truly consider these people into BDSM, but that's how they're usually portrayed in the media and they have given BDSM a lot of dark baggage to overcome for the public.

If someone you know approaches you and tells you to look out for Mac because they've heard he's done some nonconsensual things with past play partners, be careful. I'm not saying write Mac off completely or base your opinion of him on hearsay, but where there's smoke, there's usually at least an ember.

If you get a bad feeling about someone--listen to that feeling! BDSM relies heavily on trust, and if something feels 'off' about someone you've met, there's probably a reason for it. They might not be any sort of danger, but chances are they're not right for you to play with. Ask other people in your community who know that person. Ask people who have played with that person before, if possible. Get as many angles and opinions as possible, but please don't ignore your gut feeling.



There are also predators in BDSM fiction. Sometimes they're obviously predators, but sometimes they're set up as the love interest or main character. Some forms of BDSM predation can be sexy--IN FICTION--but I find it pretty rare that I don't just go 'ew' and drop the book. Have you read any BDSM fiction that just seemed more like abuse or predation? What was your reaction to it? 

Monday, 20 October 2014

BDSMonday - Fetishes Video


It's BDSMonday!

Today I have a video for you. It's an episode of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, which is a hilarious and informative series to teach young people about all kinds of sex and sexuality. I highly recommend it. (I didn't want to put "Teen Sex Show" in the title lest I give the wrong impression...)

It's a very silly video, and definitely not a how-to guide to playing, but I hope you enjoy it!

Sit back, relax, and may I present the Midwest Teen Sex Show - Fetishes!