Wedding

My wife and I basically eloped for our wedding. The only people present were a witness each (plus one witness brought her boyfriend uninvited...) and the marriage commissioner.

Afterward, because I've known since I was very little that I wanted horses involved when I got married, we went horseback riding. Our car (well, technically my mom's car) broke down on the way home, in the Middle of Absolute Nowhere, and my cell phone was dead.

We started walking back toward the horseback riding place, and then I had to pee. My wife (of less than 4 hours XD) told me to just go pee by the side of the road. I was like, as soon as I pee, someone's going to drive by.

Turns out that was her nefarious plan; no sooner did I start than a van drove by. She flagged down the driver, who called a tow truck for us.

We didn't have much money at the time (...not like now *heh*), and what we had was going to be used for our (very inexpensive) honeymoon.

So, there we sat in the tow truck, me in the front seat, her in the back, having a silent conversation with our eyes that went something like this:

Should we tell him we just got married and see if he'll give us a discount? Or will he turn out to be a huge bigot and leave us in the Middle of Absolute Nowhere to die?

In the end, we decided to tell him, and he did give us a discount. And a ride home.

And we have a great story to tell about our wedding day!

Anyway.

My grandma has always wanted to plan a wedding. She has two daughters: one basically eloped, and the other (my mother) is never going to get married. Even though I'm the second youngest, I was the first of my cousins to get married. So, when we told my grandma that I'd gotten married, she was like, "I'm throwing you a reception. You don't have to do anything--just show up!"

Of course, the day of the reception, both my wife and I were just getting over swine flu, so we literally staggered over to our chairs and sat there the rest of the night, the seat backs the only things propping us up.

My favourite colour is purple, and my wife, as an artist, feels it would be unfair to pick a favourite, so when my grandma asked, that's what I told her. She interpreted this as 'purple and pink', so that was the colour of the decorations, and it was hilarious. Not at all us, but hilarious.

BDSMonday - Guest Post by M. Strange - Service

It's BDSMonday!

Today I have another guest post from my Sir, M. Strange. Today she's talking about Tops caring for bottoms.

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T. and I are big fans of service submission, but also service D/s in general. While I love when she brings me food and drink, waits on me, pets my hair, etc, it’s nice to do the reverse as well.

When I take care of her that way, it’s more the way a master would care for their pet. Pets need to be bathed, brushed, clipped, fed and loved. And so do subs. So just because you’re a dominant, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be pampering your sub the same way they take care of you.

And after they’re all clean and happy, you can give them a good spanking! :)

BDSMonday - We All Have Our (Literal) Cross to Bear

It's BDSMonday!

Today my wife came across this picture (kinda NSFW)

BDSMonday - Guest Post by M. Strange - Coming Out As Kinky

It's BDSMonday! (Last week? Obviously last week never happened, or there would have been a BDSMonday post. *heh*)

Today I have guest post number two from my Sir, and she's talking about how and when to come out as kinky. I've touched on this subject before, but I think it's an important one and it's good to get as many perspectives about it as possible.

So, without further ado:

Everyday Kink

Phew! Busy morning! 

- Painted more of the house

- Did a load of laundry

- Cleaned the house 

- Set up a foot bath, lunch and tea for my Sir when she got home

I used to have tea made almost every day for when my Sir got home, when she was working different hours. I haven't had the time or energy to prepare for when she comes home for a while...probably a year or more. It's nice to be able to do a small and simple submissive act that makes my Sir happy. 

Also had a really wild, intense play session last night, more energetic than we've been up for in some time. Lots of hair pulling, biting, scratching and spanking. It's looking like a good, kinky fall!

BDSMonday - "Coming Out"

It's BDSMonday! (And my fifth wedding anniversary)

Tying in with my anniversary just a little, today's topic is coming out of the...toy box? Flogger? (Okay that one doesn't really make sense, but c'mon. It's a funny image--someone stepping out of the falls like a vehicle going through a car wash or something).

Anyway. Telling people who are important in your life that you're kinky.

If you are 'out', I'd love to hear how it went. If you're not, hopefully some of the stories people share will help you if/when you decide to let people know about that aspect of yourself.

For myself, I am completely 'out' with my wife. I came into the relationship ( ;) ) having been in a previous kinky relationship, and knowing I wanted BDSM in a new one. My wife had no experience with kink, though it turned out that a lot of her fantasies had a decidedly kinky/sadistic bent. Neither of us remembers exactly how I 'outed' myself to her, but we briefly broke up because she was worried that our relationship couldn't be an equal one if I was submissive. Obviously we worked that out, and we've explored our kinky sides with a freedom I couldn't possibly have imagined before meeting her.

Actually, I don't remember how I 'outed' myself to my last ex, either...though I'm sure written roleplay was involved. *heh* Yessss...my character wants to be tied up and flogged. Oh, you're okay with that? Well, how about if we act that scene out?

As I said, I don't remember if that's exactly how I broke the kinky ice, but I'm sure it was something along those lines, both with my wife and my ex. It seems to me that either reading or writing a kinky scene together is a good way to introduce the subject and test the kinky water (I'm sticking with my theme, okay?) Reading a kinky scene as foreplay is a good, safe way to gauge your partner's interest--if they jump you, chances are good their fantasies line up pretty well with yours. You could ask them to select something to read that they find kinky, so you can trade. From there, you could ask to act out one or both of the scenes. I've found roleplay is a good place to start--if the scene doesn't go well, you put those characters aside and don't play with them again. Both you and your partner know you were just acting, so it's easier to let go of any negative emotions that may come up. It's a fantasy, with clearly defined limits.

And if it does go well...have fun!

I'm not out at work, though several people either suspect or know indirectly. My mother-in-law kept 'finding' our toys when we lived with my in-laws, but I have no idea what she thinks about that. My sister knows, but that's about the only family member I'm comfortable discussing my kinky side with. I don't have kids, so I don't have to worry about them finding out/telling them. Some of my friends know (I met some of them through BDSM).

How about you guys? If you are 'out', how did it go? If you're not, how do you suspect the people in your life would react? Go!

Texts From a Broken Phone

The middle of my wife's cellphone touch screen crapped out the other day, so she (and I, when I'm replying for her) have had to come up with entertaining work-arounds for the missing letters (T, Y, F, G, C, V, an space). Here are some of them:

Sounds swell.See.u.morning (That one was from me. I was pretty proud of coming up with 'swell', because I couldn't use any of the usual "good" words that start with 'F' or 'P')

Key board broken.no write properly

Is ok.no so busy next day

My personal favourite--

    Me: My grandparents want to take us out for food on our anniversary

    Wife: Oooon

             Opoo

             Oooo

             (I have no idea what she meant and neither did she because she fell asleep right after sending me those texts. She may in fact have been asleep when she sent them). 

Coworker: Would you be able to come back for a bit? 

   Wife: Es.need me question mark

Apparently those missing letters mark the difference between modern humans and cavemen. Who know? (And that was a typo but I left it because it's funny)

BDSMonday - Special Guest M. Strange Talks Sadism!

It's BDSMonday, and today I'm thrilled to introduce my guest...who also happens to be my wife/Sir.

Today she's sharing a post about her early experiences trying to figure out her role in BDSM.

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"When I first started BDSM with my wife, I struggled with my identity as a top for quite a while.

At first, I really struggled with the idea of a relationship where I had more power than my partner. It took me some time to realize that though she submitted to me, though she was a masochist, I had her full consent and our relationship was an equal one. Whether we were in a scene or just living our lives, we both put in equal amounts of effort towards our relationship. This is honestly why I think our relationship is so strong; because we both put it at the top of our priorities.

Even though I panicked the first time she tried to submit to me and we broke up for a week or so, I’ve taken to the role of her Sir quite happily. Now my role as a top means a lot to me and I don’t think we’d be the same without it.

Still, once we started getting into the BDSM community, I realized that a lot of the dominants there weren’t what I was. We thought of our relationships in very different ways and I didn’t always understand where they were coming from.  I played with the words I used to identify myself for a while and finally settled on sadist, which I’m still happy with. More than I enjoy control, I enjoy spanking and biting and rough play.

Though SM is my favourite kind of play, I know that my partner enjoys more of the mental D/s side of BDSM. At first this side of BDSM was really overwhelming for me. My wife helped me come up with easy D/s games to get me into it, and soon enough it was a natural part of our lives. Even now, some of the rules and rituals we came up with in the beginning have stuck through. At this point, they’re so engrained that we don’t even really notice that we’re doing them. It’s just a nice easy reminder of our relationship.

Not to say we don’t do more complicated D/s scenes, but they’re still a bit of a struggle for me. I still consider myself more of a sadist than anything, but I will always be her Sir."

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Feel free to ask one or both of us questions, as always. And if you have an idea for BDSMonday, I'd love to hear it!

Is There A Word For This?

Here's something that really amuses me:

My shins are often bruised--most of my non-writing work is pretty hands-on and physical, and I have very fair skin. 

Whenever I come home with an injury, no matter how small, my wife always makes a (pleasantly) big fuss over it. 

And then she'll bite my thighs, leaving bigger, deeper bruises than the ones I had...and we gloat over those. (She does nurse them if they need it, of course, and it's a part of play we both really enjoy.)

Does this happen to anyone else? Is there a word for this type of situation? I wouldn't quite call it ironic...

Aliens! Predators!

We bought the Alien-Predator Total Destruction Collection today...I forgot about the nigh...no, totally unwatchable Predator 2. 

It really amuses me that Alien in French is called Alien Le 8e Passager (the 8th passenger. I wonder where the 'N' came from in English?)

My wife and I watch a lot of South Park, so we're constantly quoting, "They mostly come at night. Mostly." But as a South Park, not Aliens, reference. I don't think we've ever watched an Alien movie together. That ends now!

Simple Things

Here's a simple little D/s activity my Sir and I like to do: I'll have a bowl of small tidbits (we've used pistachios, grapes and mandarin orange segments so far), and I feed them to my Sr. It's especially fun if the food is something that needs to be shelled or peeled. I do the troublesome preparation, and my Sir can just have the tasty food without having to work for it. 

We both find it very enjoyable, on several levels. For us, it shows submission, love and caring. It's a very relaxing and low-key form of D/s, perfect for watching a movie or just hanging out on the couch. It reinforces our power dynamic without either of us having to expend much time or energy--perfect after a day of work!

What little D/s activities do you like to do?

A-Z Challenge: W is for What Do Bottoms Get Out Of It?

Facebook does, occasionally, help productivity.

I was really, really struggling to come up with a W, mostly because I leave tomorrow morning (or, when you read this, a few days ago) and I was running out of time.

All I could think was 'walrus' and that was just silly. I tried to find a gif from the American Dad episode where Stan and Steve act like walruses, and then I got distracted by a site with American Dad gifs. I found one of my favourites, but there weren't any apostrophes and it bothered me. I Googled the quote to see if I could find a different gif  (No :( ) but a bunch of sites about whether it was okay to be gay and Christian came up, so I had to check that out (according to the top one, yes). And there was another site about how gay the movie Frozen is. I haven't seen the movie, but I thought, hey, if it's like ultra-pissing-people-off gay, I'll check it out (No :( ) Aaaaaand then I took a break on Facebook and the rest is this post.

Someone had mentioned some of their vanilla friends wondering what, exactly, a bottom (slave/sub/etc) got out of a BDSM arrangement, and it's not the first time I've heard that question asked.

BDSMonday - Different Types of Masochism

It's pretty unusual for my wife to be in the mood for bottoming, but it happens from time to time. While sadism or topping in general aren't really my things, I like to make sure that all of her needs are met, so I oblige.

The last time she wanted some impact play was about a month ago, and I was struck by how different our approaches are to BDSM-type pain. 

For me, the pain is the goal (*heh* I accidentally typed gaol...) It's enough, in and of itself, for me. I get off on it, whether or not any traditionally sexual activity is happening at the same time. 

For my wife, however, the pain is a means, a way to release emotion and energy and to get into an altered state of mind. 

It's like the difference between drinking because you like the taste of alcohol, and drinking because you had a shitty day and want to take the edge off it. (Not that I'm advocating irresponsible drinking or play, but there are definitely times that a drink or a spanking can turn your whole outlook on life around!)

I fall into the first category (in my analogy and not--I do like the taste of alcohol). Alcohol's effects are a pleasant bonus, but not usually why I drink (or play). 

When my wife is bottoming, it's the equivalent to knocking back a shot of whisky and pulling a face afterward--get it over with so you can get intoxicated. 

Which type of masochist (or drinker!) are you? Which other kinds of masochism have you encountered?

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If you would like to write a guest post for BDSMonday, please message me or email me: tq.strange (at) gmail.com

A-Z Challenge: M is for Meeting

My wife and I like to say that we met at a funeral.

While not technically true (it was the second time we met. The first time we met was at a party), it makes for a better story.

The funeral was for a mutual friend, who I had briefly dated. My wife-to-be and I were both in full-on disgusting crying mode. Not so much because we were sad, though we were, but because we were so angry. Our friend had gone to a Catholic school, where everyone had done their merry best to make his life hell. And then they all came to his funeral. And the priest made it painfully clear that he didn't know anything about the deceased.

Anyway. We were both sobbing our sorry eyes out and looking at one another and each thinking, "I really want her, but this isn't the time or place and I look horrendous!"

And then, blah blah blah, we got married.

(Because of The Princess Bride. The party I met her at was hosted by my best friend, who I'd met at fencing lessons, which I'd taken because of my obsession with TPB).

We have a tradition of celebrating the day we met (March 25th) with an s-themed food: salad, salsa, sushi, sammich, etc. This year we totally forgot until my phone reminded me. We were both exhausted so we just ordered in food from a place whose name starts with 'S' and watched Goosebumps.

A - Z Challenge: L is for Les Misérables

Most of the music that makes me think of my childhood is Mozart, Andrew Lloyd Webber (especially Jesus Christ Superstar) and Les Misérables.

I had seen Les Mis live twice before I was seven. (A note to parents: you really don't have to worry about most 'adult themes' when your children are watching something. All the prostitution and death and general...Misérables-ness went right over my head! It was years before I realize how fucked up it really was). It's been a sort of background presence in my life since I was very young, with occasional flares of devotion.

A-Z Challenge: J is for Jericho

Another letter I really struggled with...

But here's a couple of odd things about my wife and I:

- while we went to the same high school and our circles of friends overlapped, we didn't meet until after I'd graduated (I know, cradle robber!)

- I've known most of her exes since they were teeny tiny children and it weirds me out (thought not as much as my mom's habit with my exes moms...)

- one of those exes names is Jericho and I know that's a stretch (I'm laughing to myself because of a horrible in-joke and I'm sorry), but today was un grande clusterfuck and I've got nothing and my brain is tired and tomorrow promises localized clusterfuck showers...so enjoy! Better luck with...what letter comes after J...K! (The letters...they just keep coming! I'm glad I typed up at least a few of them in March. As you can probably tell, I'm getting a bit nutty. So Imma eat and go to bed. <3)

A-Z Challenge: D is for Dollars

Authoring aside, I've had a pretty eclectic work history.

(For ease-of-scrolling, I'll put everything under a cut)

Yay Productivity!

Today:

- 6+ hours of "real" work
- 5+ hours of author work (none of which, by the way, was writing a single word for a WIP, ack!)
- my wife is asleep. This is bad. She hasn't eaten or practiced cello yet
- my brain is totally fried
- number of Goosebumps episodes watched...I don't even want to know