Monday 16 June 2014

BDSMonday - Special Guest M. Strange Talks Sadism!

It's BDSMonday, and today I'm thrilled to introduce my guest...who also happens to be my wife/Sir.

Today she's sharing a post about her early experiences trying to figure out her role in BDSM.


"When I first started BDSM with my wife, I struggled with my identity as a top for quite a while.
At first, I really struggled with the idea of a relationship where I had more power than my partner. It took me some time to realize that though she submitted to me, though she was a masochist, I had her full consent and our relationship was an equal one. Whether we were in a scene or just living our lives, we both put in equal amounts of effort towards our relationship. This is honestly why I think our relationship is so strong; because we both put it at the top of our priorities.

Even though I panicked the first time she tried to submit to me and we broke up for a week or so, I’ve taken to the role of her Sir quite happily. Now my role as a top means a lot to me and I don’t think we’d be the same without it.

Still, once we started getting into the BDSM community, I realized that a lot of the dominants there weren’t what I was. We thought of our relationships in very different ways and I didn’t always understand where they were coming from.  I played with the words I used to identify myself for a while and finally settled on sadist, which I’m still happy with. More than I enjoy control, I enjoy spanking and biting and rough play.
Though SM is my favourite kind of play, I know that my partner enjoys more of the mental D/s side of BDSM. At first this side of BDSM was really overwhelming for me. My wife helped me come up with easy D/s games to get me into it, and soon enough it was a natural part of our lives. Even now, some of the rules and rituals we came up with in the beginning have stuck through. At this point, they’re so engrained that we don’t even really notice that we’re doing them. It’s just a nice easy reminder of our relationship.

Not to say we don’t do more complicated D/s scenes, but they’re still a bit of a struggle for me. I still consider myself more of a sadist than anything, but I will always be her Sir."


Feel free to ask one or both of us questions, as always. And if you have an idea for BDSMonday, I'd love to hear it!

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