My Zombie Boyfriend One Week Countdown - Day One: Winston and Boo

With exactly one week to go until My Zombie Boyfriend's release, I thought I'd start introducing you to the characters!

First up are the cats, Winston and Boo.

It's funny, when I'm writing, how I won't realize the connections between things until much later. I didn't think of this until this morning, when I was planning this post. I was afraid of cats for most of my childhood, due to lack of exposure (my mom doesn't like animals) and a half-remembered incident involving a mother cat scratching me when I wanted to keep playing with her kittens. I now have two cats (well, a cat and an Eldritch Horrorpuss) and I love both of them very much. I hope that both my love and fear of cats comes across in My Zombie Boyfriend!

Phantom

Lee 

(I like that this picture is grainy because it makes it look like a Bigfoot sighting or something...)

Boo is Edward's childhood cat, who Edward raised as a zombie when he died. Aside from being a zombie, Boo is everything that's frightening about cats--he's mean, destructive, he lurks in dark corners, and he would definitely eat your body if you died. Despite all of that, Edward loves Boo completely and defends him against anyone who's repulsed by him. Boo was inspired by the Siamese cat, Saki, my wife had when we met. My wife was the only person Saki loved...and she'd still drop pins on my wife's face while she slept. You can find inspiration for Boo on Pinterest!

Winston is the blue British Shorthair kitten Edward gives to Kit for Christmas. Winston is the opposite of Boo in every way. He's sweet and friendly and meets Kit at the door when he gets home. Winston also has a Pinterest board. Lee, pictured above, was supposed to be a Winston-cat. Unfortunately, she turned out to be a Boo-cat. (But we love her anyway <3)

BDSMonday - Outdoor Play

It's BDSMonday!

Today is a gorgeous day in my neck of the woods (and I hope in yours, too!) It's actually spring-like and not even too wet/muddy. That never happens.

Anyway, it got me thinking about great scenes of the past (now I'm picturing a flogger or something made of clouds à la The Lion King), specifically outdoor scenes. If you live in the city, like I do, it can be a little difficult to find places to play outside, because non-consensually freaking out Vanilla people isn't cool. But playing outside is a special experience, at least to my Sir and me.

In my current house, our fence is quite low on one side and made of wire on the other, so not much backyard privacy. We do have a garage, but it's not the most soundproof building.

When we lived with my stepmom, we did some outdoor play in my old treehouse while she was gone for the summer, and that was really fun.

During our honeymoon, we rented a small retreat and had the place to ourselves. We did an awesome takedown scene that involved me hiding in the woods for my Sir to find, and getting tackled on the beach. We tried a couple of other things, but there were a lot of ants. And we're not really into ant-play. But it's okay if you are!

My Vanilla Corner friends! Have you read any awesome outdoor play scenes that you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about 'em!

BDSMonday - We All Have Our (Literal) Cross to Bear

It's BDSMonday!

Today my wife came across this picture (kinda NSFW)

BDSMonday - Boot Service

It's BDSMonday!

I feel like I haven't shared anything personal for a while. In case you haven't noticed...I like boots. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a foot or shoe fetishist--I don't have foot-related fantasies. That being said, I definitely appreciate a nice leather boot!

My Sir and I have both felt really drained for the last few years--it's been a rough few years, and we're still recovering, emotionally and physically--so we haven't been playing as often or as intensely. I used to service her boots more often, both on and off of her (I indoctrinated her into the Blundstone cult). I still do a biannual Nikwax application of all our boots. It doesn't take very long and it doesn't require a lot of energy, but I still consider it a nice way to serve and appreciate my Sir. I tend to do it sitting on the couch when she's beside me.

First, I wash all three pairs (my Blundstones, hers, my steel toed Blundstones), removing the layer of flour and icing sugar from mine and hers, and the dust and manure from my steel toes.

Then I start waxing, beginning with the first boots I washed. I rub the wax into the leather, working it into the seams and cracks and cuts, thinking about how they got there, noticing how much more wear they have than six months ago. We both really only wear our one pair of boots year-round, making them very personal possessions, something we come in contact with almost every day. The way the soles have worn shows how we walk. The dirt shows where we've been. The scars show what we've done.

Last, I buff off the wax with a Kiwi cloth, leaving them clean and protected for the winter or spring. I probably should polish them from time to time, to service both the boots and my Sir, but she realizes and accepts that I don't always have energy for more than the bare minimum needed to keep our household functioning.

I hope that, in the future, our energy levels will recover and we'll be able to play as frequently and do larger scenes.

As always, have a great week! If you'd like to contribute to BDSMonday in any way, or if you have a comment or suggestion, please feel free to contact me!

BDSMonday - Hard and Soft Limits

It's BDSMonday!

Today I'm talking about hard and soft limits.

First of all, what are hard and soft limits? Hard limits are something you are never, ever willing to try. If someone tried an activity from that list with you, you would immediately end the scene and (probably) never play with them again. There are two hard limits that are considered more or less universal, because they can't be considered consensual - bestiality and pedophilia. From there, the list is much more personal.

Soft limits are activities you're not ready or willing to try yet, or that you want to approach slowly and carefully. They're not something that should be sprung on you when you're tied up, or that should be spontaneously added to a scene.

The important thing about limits, at least as far as I'm concerned (okay, well, beyond the obvious "respect people's limits, yo") is that they can change over time, and in either direction.

When I first started exploring kink, I was really curious about electrical play and thought I'd really enjoy it. Due to a bad experience and another that was really "meh", electrical play is at least a soft limit, if not a hard limit.

The reverse is also true. I can't think of a personal example, but there's also nothing wrong with having something on you're not sure about, something on your soft or even hard limit list, and trying it with a partner you trust. It could eventually become one of your favourite things!

Even if you think a limit is silly or you think pushing it would help your partner grow as a person, respect that limit. Your partner may have had a bad experience in the past that they haven't shared with you, and they know a particular kinky activity will give them flashbacks. They may have an injury that prevents them from certain positions or activities. It's not your place to judge someone's limits, and it's not anyone else's place to judge yours.

If someone tries to pressure you regarding your limits, think long and hard before you play with them! Pushing your limits is a very personal decision that should be made by you, not by someone you're playing with. I've heard plenty of stories of people having their limits pushed, without warning or advance discussion, when they were in the middle of a scene and relatively helpless, and to me that is not okay. People usually have limits, especially hard limits, for a reason besides "I don't want to try that".

Have a great week everyone and play safely!        

Great Day... And a My Zombie Boyfriend Teaser!

I'm having a really good day. I had an issue at work, but I managed to figure it out (mostly) on my own and it felt great.

Then I got my hair braided which I desperately wanted so it wouldn't be in my face or on my neck. And the hairdresser was amazing. Hands down the best I've ever had. She realized how "difficult" my hair is while she was washing it (side note--I love having my hair washed at the hairdresser's. So does Kit from My Zombie Boyfriend...see below!). My hair is very fine but dense, making it pretty unmanageable...it sheds lesser hair implements! I told her I was growing it out for my sister's wedding and she gave me some very helpful tips to tell the wedding stylist, and she explained why I have a random red streak in my hair. Now it's in a really tight French braid and it's almost like having short hair again and I look more like my mental image of myself!

Anyway...

Here's teaser number two from My Zombie Boyfriend. (Here's teaser number one in case you missed it).

For those just tuning in, My Zombie Boyfriend is my upcoming M/M paranormal romance novel with Torquere Press. It's about Edward, a necromancer/medical student, and Kit, a body he finds and reanimates.

Please note, this is not the finalized version of the story.

BDSMonday - Sleepy Thoughts

It's BDSMonday!

Today's topic...well, it requires a little explanation.






Okay, um...I've been reading a lot of Star Wars books lately. Like, a lot. And one night, while I was in that falling-asleep-silly-brain state I thought, "Darth Vader would be really good at breath play..."

Look at that! I'm sure he has excellent control!

There's even a video (though I find the lack of apostrophe disturbing. And someone has a lot of time on their hands and it isn't me). 

And then of course that made me think, "I bet the Emperor would be really good at electrical play." 

I have a point, really, I do! Okay, maybe not a point, but close enough! Do you guys have any vanilla-references-that-could-be-turned-kinky to add to my weird list? 

Everyday Kink

Phew! Busy morning! 

- Painted more of the house

- Did a load of laundry

- Cleaned the house 

- Set up a foot bath, lunch and tea for my Sir when she got home

I used to have tea made almost every day for when my Sir got home, when she was working different hours. I haven't had the time or energy to prepare for when she comes home for a while...probably a year or more. It's nice to be able to do a small and simple submissive act that makes my Sir happy. 

Also had a really wild, intense play session last night, more energetic than we've been up for in some time. Lots of hair pulling, biting, scratching and spanking. It's looking like a good, kinky fall!

Research

I've just recently started contacting people for research, rather than looking it up online or in a book.

So far, I've gotten really, really lucky. First, most of the people I've contacted have been university professors...who are just getting back to work after the summer. #UnintentionalTimingWin

Second, two of the people I've contacted have sent me EXACTLY what I need. Like, one of them said, oh, contact Professor Studies-Exactly-What-You're-Asking-About, who wrote the book Exactly What You're Looking For.

And the other (who I contacted partly because I remembered my mom had designed his website a few years ago and said how awesome he is. And that his area of study falls within one of the things I'm researching. And he is, in fact, awesome. I have a bit of a brain crush *squee*) Anyway, he sent me the link to a free PDF book of...Exactly What I Need. 

This is ideal for me, because I tend to get so caught up in my research that I go off on a million side tangents aaaaaand...the story never gets finished. Getting direct, specific information without a lot of slogging around greatly increases the chances that I'll actually do the writing I'm researching for!

The third person I contacted told me I should contact the group of people I'm interested in directly, which makes good sense...but I'm shy!

And the fourth one...I thought I was emailing a library, but apparently it was a museum and they said I should email the library...which I thought I had!

Texts From a Broken Phone

The middle of my wife's cellphone touch screen crapped out the other day, so she (and I, when I'm replying for her) have had to come up with entertaining work-arounds for the missing letters (T, Y, F, G, C, V, an space). Here are some of them:

Sounds swell.See.u.morning (That one was from me. I was pretty proud of coming up with 'swell', because I couldn't use any of the usual "good" words that start with 'F' or 'P')

Key board broken.no write properly

Is ok.no so busy next day

My personal favourite--

    Me: My grandparents want to take us out for food on our anniversary

    Wife: Oooon

             Opoo

             Oooo

             (I have no idea what she meant and neither did she because she fell asleep right after sending me those texts. She may in fact have been asleep when she sent them). 

Coworker: Would you be able to come back for a bit? 

   Wife: Es.need me question mark

Apparently those missing letters mark the difference between modern humans and cavemen. Who know? (And that was a typo but I left it because it's funny)

My Biggest Regret

When I was in grade eleven, I did a big project on the history of marriage. I thought about using the mahwidge clip from The Princess Bride, but I chickened out. It is one of my biggest regrets in life so far. 

Random Fact Time!

I feel like sharing a Random Fact about myself.

My pupils are different sizes.

I was blissfully unaware of this fact, until my first girlfriend's mother pointed it out. And told me that, because I hadn't suffered recent head trauma, I probably had a brain tumor so I should get it checked out.

I was thoroughly freaked out from that moment until I could get an ophthalmologist appointment.

They anesthetized my eyes, and I highly don't recommend it. I could feel my eyelids opening and closing over my eyes and it was a really weird sensation. Bleh. Then they blew air in my eyes.

Then the ophthalmologist ran a whole bunch of tests...and then told me that about 25% of people naturally have differently-sized pupils. Ya couldn't have told me that from the beginning??? This couldn't be public knowledge?!

He was like, yeah, it's probably nothing. Let's dilate your pupils for shits and giggles (otherwise known as being cautious, but I was pretty fed up by that time). Getting your pupils dilated is not much fun, but not nearly as bad as the eye anesthesia.

At least I live in Canada so the experience was free. If I'd had to pay for it, I'd have billed my ex's mom.



I would love to hear a Random Fact about you!

Oral...Hygiene

I have a very small mouth (and a mighty gag reflex, but that's beside the point of this post).

Toothbrush shopping is always a trying time for me (and anyone unfortunate enough to be present), because I have very specific requirements: it has to be small, have soft bristles, and be purple, in that order of importance. And it is way more difficult to fill those three requirements than you'd think!

Or it was, until I found this toothbrush. It is hands down the best toothbrush I've ever had. For the first time, I can actually brush my teeth the way dentists tell me to, because it's small and at just the right angle. (And yes, I know it's a kid's toothbrush...)

It's not great for brushing my tongue, though...which leads me to the upshot of this post.

My wife comes home and sees a third toothbrush in our (super adorable sheep-shaped) toothbrush holder.

"...is there something I should know...?"

Does This Happen To Anyone Else?

I always get East of Eden  and West of Eden* mixed up. "Yay dinosaurs! These are not dinosaurs! This is the evil Red Pony man!" (I was [and still am] a horse nut. The Red Pony should seriously come with a warning that it is not a happy pony story [and there are few enough of those, believe me] and should not be read by people who want to read about a pony who is red. To this day, I'm not sure how much of my hatred of Steinbeck is simply my childhood betrayal. [Vultures eat the pony's eyes, man! That is some fucked up shit, especially when you're like nine!])

I also always used to get autism and dyslexia mixed up when I was younger, which led to a good deal of confusion on my part!

(When I was very young, I thought all fish were from Finland. Makes sense, no?)




*Potential TMI: West of Eden has held the title of "Most Awkward Scene to Ever Get Aroused By" for many years. I honestly hope I never find something to replace that title. I don't even want to know what it would take.

Got Something To Tell Me, Mom? Or, Spanking Is A Gateway Drug

I never came out and told my mom, "I'm into BDSM." My mother is many things, but stupid isn't one of them, so she guessed most of it on her own. And there are only so many times you can come home with yeah-those-aren't-hickeys-those-are-bite-marks before a person puts two and two together.

I don't remember the context, but I remember her once telling me that all masochists had been really ill as children. I was tempted to ask, "Soooo... I don't remember this illness, or...?" But I didn't really want to get into it with her. Because, awkward.

She also told me that I shouldn't be kinky, because I would just keep needing more and more until I, I don't know, self-destructed or something.

To that I say (but again, not to her): Life is all about progression. Staying at Level One in any activity gets boring after a while. But just because you've canoed the same river multiple times doesn't mean you're going to suddenly attempt to canoe across an ocean. Sure, play might get more intense, or at least change, over the years, but that doesn't mean that it's going to become dangerous or unhealthy.

Stranger Than Science Fiction

I have a very strange reading habit: I can't get enough of books like Momzillas by Jill Kargman or Notes From the Underbelly (or the sequel, Tales From The Crib) by Risa Green.

It's a total guilty pleasure. My wife thinks it's a little odd (so do I, honestly), but I've reread all three of those books at least once.

Here's why. All of those books are about extremely wealthy women who live in places like New York or L.A., and their experiences of motherhood.

All of those things are so foreign to me that these books are almost like reading science fiction. I've never had a lot of money, nor am I likely to. I'm not going to be a parent. I have no desire to live in a city any bigger than my current one (and honestly, even it's getting a little crowded for me). The problems the characters in these books have are less real to me than a lot of fantasy.

I actually don't read a lot of sci fi or fantasy. I have a few standby favourites in each genre--The Stainless Steel Rat series by Harry Harrison and Spirit Fox by Mickey Zucker Reichert and Jennifer Wingert being a few examples. I do read quite a bit of urban fantasy, though.

(I tried Girls In Trucks, hoping it would be similar. The book wasn't bad, but it also wasn't quite what I was looking for. If anyone has suggestions for more of those kind of books, I'd love to hear them).

Simple Things

Here's a simple little D/s activity my Sir and I like to do: I'll have a bowl of small tidbits (we've used pistachios, grapes and mandarin orange segments so far), and I feed them to my Sr. It's especially fun if the food is something that needs to be shelled or peeled. I do the troublesome preparation, and my Sir can just have the tasty food without having to work for it. 

We both find it very enjoyable, on several levels. For us, it shows submission, love and caring. It's a very relaxing and low-key form of D/s, perfect for watching a movie or just hanging out on the couch. It reinforces our power dynamic without either of us having to expend much time or energy--perfect after a day of work!

What little D/s activities do you like to do?

Why Free Reads and Giveaways Are Important - A Personal Example

A while ago, I made a new rule for when I visit the library: I always have to get at least one fiction book, for when I'm brain-tired but still want to read something. I couldn't find any from my TBR that were actually physically present at the library with me, so I was aimlessly browsing the adult paperback section. Gunmetal Magic  by Ilona Andrews caught my eye, so I grabbed it. I enjoyed the book, and now I'm reading Magic Bites with Magic Burns requested from the library.

It was the same with Patricia Briggs' books. A Mercy Thompson book caught my eye in a bookstore, I started flipping through it, and now I've read all of them and purchased at least two.

A-Z Challenge: Z is for Zinc

When I was in grade six, everyone in my class had to do a project about one of our province's resources. 

I really wanted to do zinc but I couldn't find enough information on it, so I had to do canola. (If you're sensing a theme here, you're not wrong). 

It was, predictably, pretty lame. My mom went nuts with the project and turned it into this huge production (basically this episode of Dexter). 

A-Z Challenge: S is for Squid

Squid are very important to me.

Not in the usual, I-like-to-eat-them way, because I don't.

When I was five or so, a friend loaned me their cassette tape of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and unwittingly triggered an obsession, about 20,000 Leagues in general and squid in particular. I happily marched off to the library to learn more about my favourite cephalopod (though octopi also rock).

Only, there were no books about squid. It was a crushing blow. This was pre-internet, after all. I asked my mom what to do, and she told me I should write my own book. I was like, with what information??? The whole point of getting a book about squid is to learn about them because I've got nothing. Everything I know is from this child's version of 20,000 Leagues. Do you want me to make stuff up?!

I learned young that, if it doesn't exist, you'll just have to fucking write it yourself. (I don't remember if I ever wrote the book).

One of my favourite places in the world (that I've seen so far) is the Royal Tyrell Museum in Drumheller, Alberta. They had (and hopefully still have) a pink rubber squid in a tank of water, with a little hose attached to it. You squeeze a bulb and the hose pushes air into the squid and it rockets around the tank, demonstrating how squid move. It's amazing. It was amazing when I first saw it at five, and it's still amazing. (For those of you just tuning in: this post was written by several two-year-olds in a trench coat).