Monday 26 May 2014

BDSMonday - Wax Play

It’s BDSMonday!

Today’s topic is wax play.

First, I have to put on my little safety hat (okay I’ve used that a couple of times now and I think it deserves a picture. Suggestions for how my safety hat should look?) There is a lot of information about wax play on the internet, so I’m not going into too much detail, but here are a few key points and tips I’ve found useful.
The most important thing to remember when playing with wax is temperature. There are a couple of things that effect temperature: type of wax, height, and colour. The darker or more intense the colour, the hotter the wax is going to feel on someone’s skin. It’s probably best to avoid metallic wax entirely, because it’s going to have a really high melting point, aaaaaand it’s likely to contain some things you don’t really want to put on your skin.

The type of wax is also very important. There are lots of wax melting charts out there, but, for common around-the-house waxes, soy is on the low end, paraffin is in the middle, and beeswax is hot. It’s tempting to use beeswax because it smells nice and it’s natural, but it can do some serious damage.
The distance the wax falls between its source and the person’s skin will also make a surprising difference when it comes to temperature. The farther wax falls, the cooler it’s going to be when it hits.
No matter what type of wax you’re using, even if it has a really low melting temperature, keep some cool, damp towels close at hand, just in case you do end up creating a hot spot that needs relief.
In my experience, be careful with the belly button. Wax can pool in there and cause a burn, even if the wax itself isn’t that hot. The heat just stays trapped.

Also, I have to note—wax is messy. It’s a good idea to put something plastic under the area you’ll be playing and then be very very careful if you’re using open flame (which, y’know, you should be anyway…) I’ve just put a sheet down before, and the wax went right through it. Wax is cunning. It will get everywhere.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…

There are lots of different ways to play with wax. I’ve personally done or witnessed three, so that’s what I’ll talk about.

1.       Drip, drip drip. This is holding a lit candle over a person and letting the droplets of wax fall on them. One of the advantages of this type of play is that it’s really easy to adjust the height of the candle, making the sensation more or less intense by raising or lowering the candle. You also have pretty good control over where the wax is landing, if you want to make a pattern or avoid a certain area or something. Personally, I get very irritated by this method. It itches and stings and makes me grumpy, but I know people who swear by it. I think it could be quite sensual using wax with a really low melting point, but I haven’t tried that.

2.       Pour. Heat some blocks of wax (or candles, but you’ll want to fish the wicks out) in a pot or crockpot—the advantage of a crockpot is that it’ll keep your wax warm, and you can set it directly on the floor. Then, you pour it onto the person you’re playing with.  You can pour directly out of the (crock)pot, but I personally am a little leery of that. It seems like it would be way too easy to pour too much, and you don’t have great control of where the wax is landing. I actually bought a ladle specifically for wax-pouring. It has a little notch for pouring, and it only holds so much wax at a time.

3.       Torch and pitchfork. Definitely the most dramatic version of wax play. The way I’ve seen it done is with a chef’s torch. You just hold your block of wax (or candle) and let it drip onto the person you’re playing with. It’s less of a drip…drip…drip than just lighting a candle wick, and you still have good control over where the wax lands and the height it falls from. I’ve only seen this type of wax play demoed, so I can’t say too much about it.

Vanilla Corner:

This is a new feature I’m adding to BDSMonday, for those who like to read about BDSM, but maybe aren’t into “the lifestyle” (imagine a lot more quotes around that, because that’s how seriously I can take people who say, “I’m part of the lifestyle”). It might not be every week, but I’ll try to include it as often as possible. If anyone has thoughts about how vanilla ties in with the week’s topic, I’d love to hear it!
As I mentioned earlier, soy has a very low melting point. In small, careful amounts, I think even a complete non-masochist could enjoy having some soy wax melted on them for a bit of spice in the bedroom.
I really enjoy using soy, and it’s great for beginners.

If you’re not sure if you can handle soy, there are also massage candles. They melt just above body temperature, and can be poured straight onto skin after melting without worrying about burns. That way, you can have the sexy, “I’m pouring candle wax onto you” without, “Ow! You’re pouring candle wax on me!”
Any of the three methods I listed should work with massage candles, though to melt them you’ll have to dig them out of their tins, and to use a torch you’ll have to dig them out of their tins, melt them, and then pour them into some sort of mould you can pop them out of as a block.

Combo bonus! Use wax after spanking, caning, or your favourite form of percussion play--it feels like acid. Wonderful acid. 


If you have an idea for BDSMonday, or would like to contribute in any way, please message me or email me: tq.strange (at)

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